Everybody’s talking about who they were in a past life these days, and it’s always royalty, but let’s be honest, how many of us could possibly have been Cleopatra or Julius Cesar? Don’t you think that at least a few of us were poor janitors in Louisiana in the 1930s? We can’t all have been royalty, but here are five historical figures we wish we were the reincarnation of…
General Patton
Besides being a legendary general and a crazy sonofagun, Patton was also something of a poet, focusing on the concept of past lives in some of his work. Through a Glass, Darkly, is written from the perspective of a soldier who has fought and died in every major war, only to be reincarnated once more as a soldier. The idea of an immortal fighter, being reborn every generation or so to serve the common good, is an interesting one.
The King, Elvis Presley
Come on, who wouldn’t want to be Elvis Presley? There’s an entire industry centered around dressing like the guy and singing his songs, and believe us, these impersonators get just as much attention from the ladies as The King himself did. Nothing would be better for one of those impersonators to hear that they are, in fact, the reincarnation of The King of Rock and Roll. Presley always had an interest in Eastern philosophy, the martial arts and the cosmic level of reality.
Ben Franklin
Without a doubt, the most eccentric of the founding fathers, Benjamin Franklin is most well known as an inventor of the lightning rod and the bifocals, but he’s also remembered for all the crazy stories there are about him. The kite story is exaggerated, but based in reality. He also once talked a friend into joining the army so as to steal his fiancee, and he once electrocuted himself trying to roast a turkey with electricity. If you’re the “Kramer” of your group of friends, who knows, maybe that’s your face on the hundred dollar bill.
Actress Audrey Hepburn
Sorry Cleopatra, but Audrey Hepburn is probably the greatest icon of grace and beauty, not to mention charm. With so many Queen Elizabeths and Catherine the Greats walking around, we wish Audrey Hepburn would hurry up and be born again already. The modern world just doesn’t have a talent like hers.
Pro Wrestler Andre the Giant
Andre the Giant was crazy, and a lot of fun to be around. He was known to steal horse carriages and go on madcap races across town, and when he drank, there was nobody who could match him. If you’re a fun drunk, maybe you were once a giant pro wrestler. Andre was one of those guys where, even though every story would end in a fight with the police, a beer can tossed at somebody’s head or someone in the hospital, all of his friends remember him fondly, nonetheless. A real wildcat and a great guy.
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